Apparently it’s not long until Christmas.
When I say “not long” I mean, oh I don’t know, maybe 4 weeks, 4 days, 1 hour and 22 minutes at the time I’m writing this. But who’s counting, eh?
Anyway, in the run up to the festive season, I wanted to talk about my other favourite thing in the world apart from Christmas…
What gift do you get the man who requested (and enjoyed) tea and toast during 2 out of the 3 times you were casually birthing a human right next to him? What gift says “I love you 84% of the time and the other 16% of the time I’d prefer if you p*ssed right off?”
Well look no further for I have compiled a list of 5 quirky (code word for “ridiculous”) gift ideas for the special man in your life.
(You are so welcome husbands everywhere.)
1. Agree to shave at least one leg up to the knee
Now I know we’re all about gender equality these days and women are quite entitled to keep their pins as woolly as the next Bill or Dave. But a night’s sleep without the worry of being electrocuted by the static generated by your fuzzy limbs is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
2. Allow him to be more tired than you for the day.
We all know that he is NEVER as tired as you. But it makes for a delightful gift to accredit him as being the most tired for one day only. If you would like the free Popcorn for Lunch printable certificate of tiredness to gift this festive season, you’ll find one here.
3. Take him to a filling station for Lunch.
Men like food. Fact. Men do not like paying a lot of money for anything. Fact. Men are not at home in ostentatious Michelin starred restaurants with solid platinum napkin rings. Fact.
So, combining all those factually accurate facts, lunch in a filling station makes for a truly wonderful Christmas gift.
You’ll fall a little more in love with him when you see how happy he is biting into that stale cheese bap and gulping down the stagnant tea you paid £2.30 for.
4. Power tools
All the power tools. If you’re limited for space or actually have no D.I.Y. that needs doing, then simply hire some power tools for him for the day and clear off with the kids. There’s a possibility you’ll return to find your other half engulfed in petrol fumes and singing aggressive rap music as he takes a chainsaw to that cupboard door that needed some light planing.
Yes I went there. However, the gift of warm feet should never be sneered at. Especially if he’s managed to cut through the oil pipe on a power tool bender.
What will you be gifting the man in your life this festive season? I love hearing from you (and stealing your ideas). If you tell me you’ve got him a Virgin Rally Driving Experience please let me know who you work for and whether they take on bloggers who write ridiculous gift guides.