The phrase, “It’s been a long day,” has been thrown around by parents for generations.
Until now, scientific research into the term was limited.
However, following a breakthrough study conducted by some blogger (me) who is qualified to conduct studies* by virtue of having studied science at school, so much more has been discovered about this oft-used phrase.
(*I am not qualified to conduct an amateur brass band let alone a scientific study but let’s ignore this minor detail.)
The study involved more than one parent across a total of one household.
It observed the participants in their natural parenting environment.
For the purposes of the study, “natural parenting environment” was defined as, “Any location in which at least 4 empty packets of baby wipes were present within a 5 metre radius thereof, and where a minimum 23% of all available floor space was sticky, including but not limited to the home, soft play centres and public toilets.”
Participants were observed for several days and data collated at the end of the observation period.
Findings are broken down as follows:-
1. Participant parents were overheard saying, “It’s been a long day,” on 19 out of the 21 days during which they were observed.
2. The phrase, “It’s been a long day,” was used in conjunction with more offensive sounding words on 93.5% of occasions.
3. There was a direct correlation between use of the phrase “It’s been a long day” and the average number of units of mid-range Sauvignon Blanc consumed by the female participant.
4. There was a direct correlation between use of the phrase “It’s been a long day” and the incidence of Super Noodles within the household.
5. Use of the phrase “It’s been a long day,” was found to be a catalyst for passive aggressive bickering between male and female participants, with female participants going to great lengths to explain that their day was, in fact, immeasurably longer and more tiresome than that of their male counterpart.
6. Participants were more likely to use the phrase, “It’s been a long day,” on days when “Bing” was noted to have been viewed by the children of the participants.
Thus, the study concluded that the phrase, “It’s been a long day,” actually means that one has lost one’s shit and has made it to bedtime by flying by the seat of one’s proverbial pantaloons.
You’re welcome modern science.