One morning Teal was woken suddenly by 3, bordering on violent, miniature people.
Teal noticed that Abney was still sound asleep. Teal’s elbow slipped and accidentally gave Abney a sharp dig in the ribs.
But still Abney slept.
Teal shuffled her way downstairs looking like a holy fright. She then had to engage in a full blown conversation about whether a Hot Wheels car or Thomas the Tank Engine would win in a race.
Teal lovingly prepared a nutritious breakfast for the miniature people who screamed ‘YUCK!!!!!!!!!’ and asked for a biscuit instead.
As the morning wasn’t going very well, Teal began shovelling coffee granules into a cup. Teal did think about shovelling the granules directly into her mouth.
The miniature people were being a touch difficult that particular morning and Teal muttered some exotic sounding words under her breath.
Just as the miniature people were dressed and ready for school, Abney came downstairs looking smug and refreshed. Teal muttered more exotic words under her breath as Abney enjoyed a relaxed and sophisticated breakfast of adults.
Abney went off to work and Teal took 2 of the miniature people to school before returning home to try to do some work on her brand new blog post called ‘What it’s like to have a husband who never takes off his orange scarf and is harbouring suppressed feminine tendancies.’
But Teal remembered she hadn’t had breakfast and so, as the baby had a long 20 minute nap, Teal helped herself to a small slice of chocolate cake and ate it with dignity and composure.
Teal had just opened her laptop to begin typing when she remembered the rather large pile of washing upstairs that was at risk of becoming a threat to Western civilisation.
So Teal put some of the clothes in the washing machine.
Teal thought about how much time she spent with the washing machine and whether it would be more practical for her to sleep there from now on.
Before long, it was time to collect 2 of the miniature people from school.
At the school, Teal saw all the other skinny, tanned mummies with long, shiny hair and matching clothes.
Teal began to regret her choice of the wrinkly dress and leggings she’d found at the bottom of a big pile of clothes on the chair in the bedroom that morning.
Teal avoided eye contact with the yummy mummies and scuttled back to her car as fast as her scruffy red Converse would carry her.
Around teatime, Abney came home to find Teal slumped over a giant pile of ironing and the miniature people running feral.
Abney suggested they make something quick for tea since Teal appeared to have lost the plot, so Teal slaved over a hot microwave to prepare everyone a balanced meal.
Once dinner was over, the miniature people were bathed by Abney, who then considered himself a hero.
After the bath, Teal read one or two bedtime stories.
Much, much later, all 3 miniature people fell asleep.
While Abney relaxed, Teal emptied the dishwasher, then spent 30 frantic minutes wondering what to pack in the miniature people’s lunchbags for tomorrow.
After such a long and trying day, Teal decided to treat herself to just a little sip of wine.
Night night everyone, night night.
‘Abney and Teal, how does it feel to be such a cliche? It’s just right for us, it’s adventurous, Mum at home, home being a cliche.’