‘Breast is best’ everyone said
So determined was Mummy to try.
It took 2 midwives and Mummy to latch you on,
But all you did was cry.
And cry you did for 4 days straight,
Mummy’s boob you didn’t want to leave,
But being sat there on the couch wasn’t so bad,
From the housework you earned Mummy reprieve.
Everything settled down and the days they passed,
You were certainly getting no thinner,
‘Hurrah!’ said Daddy to Mummy’s DD boobs,
‘Everyone’s a winner!’
But then things took a turn for the worst,
When the postman brought a parcel one day,
For Mummy answered the door with her boob flapping about,
And frightened the postman away.
But alas we persevered and battled on,
Despite the growth spurts and mastitis,
And even when the shower Mummy hadn’t seen for days,
You didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.
So we’ve made it this far through good times and tough,
Through sleepless nights with half-hourly feeds,
And it’s so amazing to know that, just for now,
Mummy is all you need.
*Disclaimer – The woman in the photograph is NOT me – ain’t getting my baps out in front of any camera please and thank you.