‘Get into the car, we’re going to be late!’ is a phrase I say (shout) at least 3 times daily in the general direction of my children.
Something, however, appears to get badly lost in translation, and it turns out that the gentle coaxing (shouting) I use to get the kids packed into the car, is wildly misinterpreted.
Apparently, in kid-speak, “get into the car” can mean any (mostly all) of the following: –
1. I’ll just fetch that little toy I got free with a magazine 7 months ago.
2. I’ve actually decided that I DO need the toilet, even though you did ask me 76 times before now, when we weren’t quite so late.
3. This is THE perfect time for a quick lap of the house on my bicycle.
4. I’ll just have a good cry for no reason.
5. I’ll just have a good cry for the following reason:-
He/she took my toy/book/shoe/half-eaten cracker/piece of sticky tape I found on the floor/[insert any inanimate object that is wholly unnecessary for a car journey here].
7. Even though your wing mirror has been attached to your car for a very long time, I’m just going to momentarily forget its presence and whack my head off it.
8. I’ve forgotten where your car is and have decided to have a quick wander out onto the road by myself.
9. I so need to get on that driver seat action and switch on at least one, but probably all, of the following: wipers, hazard lights, radio, indicators.
10. I’ve pooped myself just now.
11. My actions will now become the slowest they have ever been. The most minute of tasks will take me hours. Think tortoise with under-active thyroid.
12. Just to recap, I’m pretty much going to do everything except get into the car.
What do your children understand by “get into the car?” As always, I would love to hear from you!