My previous mutterings on some popular children’s TV went down so well that I thought I would add more of my CBeebies related thoughts.
If you have a bottle of wine handy, now’s a good time to pour it , or, since no one’s being fancy here, have a giant slurp straight from the bottle – one less thing for the dishwasher, eh?
So let’s ignore the fact that this show is essentially about a middle-aged man inviting hordes of children to his house to “play.”
And let’s also ignore that Justin’s waistcoat looks like it’s made from the exact same material as the little jiffy pots we grew cress in at primary school.
So ignoring those minor issues, let’s focus on the main issue: out of curiosity, have you EVER seen Justin leave for work?
No, you haven’t have you?
When you’re a grown-up, you’ll definitely be able to fanny about your ridiculously colourful house all day and still somehow find the money for hired help!
And not just any old hired help, platinum-level hired help – the kind that answers the door for you when you’re literally standing a matter of feet from the door and even joins you in singing little comical songs you make up as the day progresses.
What a life lesson for the kids we have there, well worth the licence fee.
Another CBeebies show, another dreadful waistcoat.
Mister Maker is a walking fashion faux pas.
Since when do we style a polka dot waistcoat with a beige sports jacket and 90s boot-cut jeans?!
Actually, since when do we wear polka dot waistcoats?!
Just as a side note, is the Maker Mobile roadworthy?
Never once have I seen an episode where Mister M’s heading to the MOT Centre. Not once.
Also, I have to be honest, I would like to see a little more blood flow to Mister Maker’s lips, they’re terribly pale. Maybe he needs to branch out from crafts and include some outdoor physical activity in his life.
Risk of heart disease much?
The NHS recommends that waistlines shouldn’t be more than 37 inches for men and 31.5 inches for women.
Even though we aren’t quite sure of the exact gender of these psychedelic fatties, they are definitely measuring in over that threshold.
And surviving on a diet of custard isn’t going to help ward off that Type 2 Diabetes coming their way either.
I’d like to see an episode with the Teletubbies maybe doing some light fundraising for a defibrillator or with the “again, again” (annoying) clip letting us follow morbidly obese Brenda as she heads into triple bypass surgery.
Just a quick thought – the male characters. They’ve gone to the trouble of putting on jackets (Benjamin has even gone as far as a hat), but their bottom half?
I Can Cook
Can we spare a thought for the poor parents at the end, forced to eat sweaty stuffed egg that’s been perspiring in Tupperware for the last hour.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, they then have to do their best “mmmmmmm delicious!!!!!!!!” face.Then to add insult to injury, an energetic Katie takes the kids and engages in fun high-intensity sports at the end, leaving the poor parents nauseous and battling feelings of extreme parental inadequacy.
All together now… “Roll up your sleeves, give Katie a punch…”
(Obviously don’t actually punch anyone, because that would make you a criminal and there’s no Sauv Blanc in jail now is there.)