Real Love (How Boring!)

Sometimes I feel that more relationships would survive nowadays if people expected less from love.

Hasn’t “love” got a terrible name for itself these days? It’s expected to be this all-singing, all-dancing, totally encompassing explosion of emotion every.single.day.

There are constant reminders of how much other couples “love” each other plastered relentlessly across social media (any regular readers of my blog will know how much I despise social media at times!)

But how we measure love has gone very wrong.

If your partner hasn’t just whisked you off to Paris as a surprise birthday treat he mustn’t love you.

If your partner doesn’t come home from work and immediately take over childcare or household chores then he mustn’t love you.

If your partner doesn’t constantly tell you he loves you then he mustn’t love you.

Wrong. Wrong. WRONG.

 

Real Love Makes Mistakes

I want to celebrate what I believe to be real love in this post. You see, in my opinion, real love makes mistakes; it can be unkind, jealous and downright nasty, but it is always sorry.

Real love is actually rather boring and a bit mundane, but it is steadfast, reliable and strong.

Real love is not being happy all the time or making memories every single bloody day. Real love is overcoming the unhappy times and coming out the other side.

 

10 5 Things I Hate Love About You

So, in honour of real love, and the fact my husband and I have just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary (or as I like to call it “toleration anniversary”), I wanted to share with you 5 reasons why I happen to love my husband:-

 

1. When I ring him, he answers his phone.

Obviously there are times he physically can’t, but if he can, he will.

And that’s even though he knows I’m probably just going to ask him to bring home something from the shops (wine usually, or baby wipes).

 

2. He Takes My Side

If someone has annoyed or upset me he’ll have my back.

He won’t necessarily always agree with me, but he doesn’t like it when people hurt me. He sticks up for me, always.

 

3. We Get Through the Bad Days

We have bad days.

We have days when we bicker and argue and name-call. Some would say that’s not real love. I disagree.

Everyone has “off” days. Everyone has days when work’s been a nightmare or they’ve not had much sleep or something’s playing on their mind. And who better to take it all out on than the one person you know is still going to love you when all’s been said and done?

Yes I know we shouldn’t try to hurt people we love but sometimes, often due to a culmination of external factors, tempers get frayed and insults get exchanged.

But we work through it and come out of it having found and added another little piece to our jigsaw.

 

4. He Works Hard

No I’m not going to tell you he irons, mops, hoovers, and dusts, then morphs into “Daddy Daycare” within minutes of arriving home.

He doesn’t.

My poor husband wouldn’t know which end of the mop is up and has changed approximately one poopy nappy in his lifetime (we have 3 kids).

But he has a day job and runs his own business and works super hard at both to provide for us.

If I ask, he helps and that’s enough for me.

 

5. Car Insurance

Every year for my birthday, while other girls are getting roses and perfume, I get car insurance. My hubby spends ages hunting around for the best deal then pays for it for me.

And no, I’m not a helpless 1940’s housewife; I make (a little bit of) my own money and can find my way around a price comparison site with the best of ‘em.

But it’s the little practical things like this my husband does that show me he cares and I love him for that.

 

Boring. But I Love It!

So how utterly boring was that list?

No mention of diamonds, trips to Paris, extravagant gifts, toned abs or perfection.

Nope.

Just a solid, honest, reliable man (with a much fatter belly than he had the day I married him), who I happen to love with all my heart.

Follow:

15 Comments

  1. 11th August 2017 / 7:49 am

    I so agree with this. Of course some marriages don’t work because people’s were incompatible but Disney and all those rom coms have taught us everything has to be happy ever after. Real love is the boring bits and the day to day chats about where you’ve been or how was work. It’s also about toughing out the rough bits. Great post lovely xx

    • 11th August 2017 / 8:17 am

      Totally! I’ve never been a hearts and flowers girl anyway and just really appreciate how practical and caring my hubby is. Not fussed at all on romance 😂😂 Thanks for your comment!x

  2. 11th August 2017 / 8:00 am

    High Five!!! I’m with you here. Me and my husband are very similar. The very fact that we laugh so much together every day is love enough for us. We’re not romantic in the typical sense. That to me would be dull. Lovely post. #BlogCrush

    • 11th August 2017 / 8:19 am

      Totally dull, I agree! Romance is a profit-making notion cooked up by retailers (spot the cynic in the corner 😂) Thanks for your comment!xx

  3. 11th August 2017 / 10:39 am

    Yes! I love that you say it like it is. I really don’t seem to give my husband enough credit… I’m always shoving pooey babies and washing up cloths at him and he seems to just get on with it. Well, he does it all completely wrong and so I HAVE to have a massive go at him, but I do suppose he tries. It may be slightly unfair watching another episode of Come Dine with Me while shouting that he’s missed several spots with the hoover. I’ve always said though, that my ultimate test of true love boils down to one thing and one thing only… if you’re partner broke both their arms, would you wipe their bum? If the answer is yes, they’re a keeper! Thanks for linking to #Blogstravaganza

    • 11th August 2017 / 10:40 am

      I used the wrong ‘your’ – I’m giving up blogging and living in a hole for the rest of my life!

  4. 11th August 2017 / 2:07 pm

    Funny, wise but, most importantly, true. My wife and I have also been married for eight years. We’ve been to hell and back but we’re stronger than ever

  5. 11th August 2017 / 7:09 pm

    Totally agree. It’s the small things that keep a relationship going. All the fancy stuff is for showing off at the start of a relationship x
    #Blogstravaganza

  6. 11th August 2017 / 8:32 pm

    This sounds so familiar! There are never any surprises in this house, I could count on one hand how many presents I’ve had in the last nine years. Not because we’re mean, but because we don’t need them. I love you point about answering the phone, it’s so true! I found a good egg and we’re a team, sounds like you did too 🙂 boring love is the best kind! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  7. Sarah - Mud, Cakes and Wine
    12th August 2017 / 5:32 am

    Lovely post and totally agree. We are very similar he works very hard and when he gets home is shattered and his work phone never stops. We are 9 years married and 15 together so must be working #Blogstravaganza

    • 13th August 2017 / 7:59 am

      Sounds like he does work hard! I know what you mean about the work phone, it’s the third party in our marriage haha! Thanks for reading x

  8. 17th August 2017 / 9:10 am

    Yes to this, real love is boring but it’s a really special kind of boring. I appreciate a cuddle and a chat with my hubby more than any extravagant gifts..I definitely am not living a Disney fairytale but that doesn’t mean we are not very much in love. Happy anniversary to you and your husband cx #BlogCrush

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *