Once upon a time there was a very tiny and very hungry baby.
One Monday afternoon, after crying for a solid hour, the baby’s mother realised she was looking for some food.
So the very hungry baby drank 4 oz of milk. But she was still hungry.
On Tuesday she drank 8 oz of milk but she was still hungry.
On Wednesday she ate through three bowls of baby porridge but she was still hungry.
On Thursday she ate through four bags of carrot stick crisps but she was still hungry.
On Friday she ate through five Annabel-Karmel-esque dinners and the TV remote.
On Saturday, Mummy couldn’t remember the last time the very hungry baby had pooed.
Mummy wondered if she should be a scourge on the NHS and phone the very hungry baby’s GP.
But then there were some gurgling noises and the very hungry baby pooed her way through:-
one white vest,
one spotty sleep suit,
one Tesco own brand nappy,
one pink H&M top,
one double pack of M&S leggings,
one flowery dress,
one stripy romper,
one pair of baby Gap jeans,
one swim nappy and
one pair of pajamas from Next.
That night the washing machine had a stomachache.
The next day was Sunday and Mummy had a nice cold glass of wine (in the evening not at lunchtime) and after that she felt much better.
Now the very hungry baby wasn’t crying anymore; she had become a BEAUTIFUL sleeping baby!
For 37 minutes or so.
This parody is obviously based on the fantastic book ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ by the amazing Eric Carle!