Mum’s Hairy Legs


(A Short Poem About the Ups and Downs of Leg Hair – not remotely based on my own life experiences)

There once was a woman called ’Mum’

Who also answered to ‘WIPE MY BUM!!!’

She hung around with colourful clothes pegs,

And never had time to shave her legs.


Mum’s hairy legs weren’t all that bad,

They kept in the heat, so well were they clad,

And they acted as a useful deterrent,

For her husband wasn’t keen on ferrets.


Mum’s hairy legs once helped save the day,

When a family of birds had lost their way,

‘Don’t worry!’ said Mum, ‘I know what’s for the best!’

And amidst her leg hair she let them nest.


And did you know Mum’s furry pins,

Once rescued a builder called Dave Timms?

For when he found himself trapped at a great height,

A leg hair lasso saved him from his plight.


So mums, if you don’t find time to shave,

Think of vulnerable birds, and Dave,

You’ll be doing the whole community a favour,

If you go eat cake and forget the razor.


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